This is a guest post written by Samantha R, a 42-year-old woman that went through the process of Donor Egg IVF. I thought it would be interesting to share her story and perhaps could help people who might be looking into choosing this path too.
When you want nothing more than to start a family with your partner, one negative pregnancy test can feel like a letdown. What happens when one negative test turns into dozens? The constant disappointment can leave you feeling haunted and empty. This was the reality for my husband and me after a year of trying desperately to conceive. Those twelve months of failure left us searching for answers.
Sitting in the doctor’s office one day, I saw a brochure with the words “Infertility Treatment Helps Families Grow” written across the front cover. Little did we know, those five little words would become our answer.
My Nonviable Eggs: The Diagnosis that Led Us to Donor Egg IVF
When we first started seeing our fertility specialist, I had hope, the cause of our infertility was simple. I was ready to be told I needed to exercise more, add more good fats to my diet, or try an acupuncture session. I was not prepared to hear my eggs weren’t viable for pregnancy.
Not viable – it’s amazing the way such a short phrase can carry so much weight. I felt like a failure. My sweet husband whispered doting words of encouragement into my ears, but all I heard was you can’t get pregnant – you can’t have a baby of your own.
Sitting in that doctor’s office smelling of antiseptic and broken dreams, I was so lost in my own thoughts, I barely heard the doctor utter the words “donor egg IVF.” Looking up, I considered what he was telling me.
There was a chance I could still carry a baby of my own. While my child wouldn’t be conceived from my own egg, I would still be the one to bring my child into the world. I would still feel my baby’s kicks and watch my belly grow. Despite the loss I was feeling, I knew this was the path I would choose.
How Do You Choose an Egg Donor?
Never in my wildest dreams did I foresee needing to choose the DNA donor of my baby. While the online bank provided incredible insight and information about each donor, choosing a donor is not as easy as ordering off the drive-thru menu.
Thankfully, egg banks rigorously screen each of their donors prior to donation. We were guaranteed every donor had passed drug tests, psychological screenings, and general health evaluations – but none of these things helped us pick one amongst the others.
My husband and I deliberated for weeks over our criteria. Was a similarity in appearance more important, or did their educational and professional background mean more?
We weighed our options and eventually decided on the perfect donor – a combination of similar looks, background, and good education. We were ready to begin.
Starting Our Family with Frozen Donor Egg IVF
Finding an egg donor was just the beginning of our process. Next, it was time to begin treatment. It was explained to me the most important part of a successful IVF cycle was ensuring my body was in the best condition possible to accept a developing embryo.
Preparing my body for IVF wasn’t just about eating the right foods and taking the right vitamins. I was required to undergo various tests, including ultrasounds and blood work, which would offer my doctor insight into my current reproductive health.
Also, I needed the help of hormonal supplements such as progesterone and estrogen to guarantee my uterus was in the best possible state for my upcoming embryo transfer. With the help of transvaginal ultrasounds and bloodwork, my doctors and nurses evaluated my body’s response to these medications and determined exactly when my uterus was best prepared for the embryo transfer.
Early one morning, we made the drive to our clinic’s surgery centre. I laid back and watched as our beautiful embryo was transferred into my uterus. Two weeks later, my husband and I received the news we’d been waiting for. Our donor egg IVF cycle was a success – we were having a baby!
Becoming the Mother I’d Always Hoped to Be
While I was pregnant with my baby girl, I sometimes wondered if she would feel like a stranger when she arrived. I wondered whether I’d suffer from the loss of a genetic connection and not bond with our little girl.
Oh, how wrong I was. The moment my daughter was laid on my chest, I didn’t see DNA and chromosomes. I saw rosy cheeks and long, beautiful eyelashes. I saw ten sweet fingers and ten beautiful toes. In the instant my eyes landed on her face, I knew she was mine. No amount of biology could tell me otherwise.
Have you heard of Donor Egg IVF? Is it a path that you would choose if needed? What do you think of Samantha’s story?
*Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.
Thanks for stopping by,
Love you all ❤️
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Becky @ Educating roversi says
Aw I beautifully written post with a happy ending. So happy for the writer and, yet again, amazed at what our bodies and fab doctors can do! #KCACOLS
I know! It is amazing! 🙂 x
Lydia C. Lee says
It’s a rough road (emotionally) but so rewarding when the baby arrives. #KALCOLS
Agree! It is all worth it! 🙂
Veronica Lee says
I’ve heard of Donor Egg IVF but never met anyone personally who had it done.
Such a beautiful share! I am so happy for the writer.
Yes such a happy ending! 🙂
One of my best friends needed IVF to have her baby girl, however her eggs were suitable, so while she was having hers extracted she donated further to others, like yourself, so other families could be created. A lovely story x
That is so nice! What a lovely friend you have! 🙂 x
What a lovely story. My husband and I battled infertility for 9 years to finally have our son, so I know how hard it can be. It’s great to raise awareness of procedures people might not otherwise be aware of. Medical science never ceases to amaze me. #KCACOLS
Wow 9 years! Amazing! Your son is a lovely miracle then! Love to hear these stories! I was only 1.5 years and it felt so long! Yes the medical science is out of this world! 🙂 x
What a lovely story. My cousin went down this route and joyfully has twins. What an amazing chance for her when all was lost. When I look at those lovely children all I see is love and joy. Thank you for sharing this story. #KCACOLS
Aww how lovely Sophie! I can imagine how much love those beautiful twins are bringing to the family! 🙂
Sarah Dixon says
I really love hearing successful stories like this – some couples try so hard. Sarah #KCACOLS
The Mummy Bubble says
Such a valuable post for anyone going through or thinking about going through this process! I can’t imagine how hard it must be. well done for sharing x #KCACOLS
Emma Me and B Make Tea says
aw lovely post and interesting to read about the process as i don’t know much about it really. i cant imagine how hard it must be going through this either. the what ifs. thanks for sharing #KCACOLS
Samantha’s Story is beautiful. I’m so glad hey got their happy ending. I’ve always said if we can’t have children (we have one now) but if we can’t have another I’d chose adoption as the next route.
Ah, what a beautiful post. I could feel myself welling up with tears. Pen x #KCACOLS
Sarah -Arthurwears says
What a wonderful story. Thankfully I didn’t have trouble conceiving – I always thought I would adopt though if I struggled #kcacols
great information here. My ex and I struggled with infertility and my brother and his wife had twins via IVF. Its something much more common than most people think #KCACOLS
Yes I agree.
Wonderful ending to your story. Beautiful. As someone who has had children the non-traditional way, I know how hard it can be to choose the DNA that will create your child. #kcacols
This is such a wonderful story with a happy ending. I have a close friend who cannot conceive and is desperate to start a family with her love so will forward this article onto her. Thank you for sharing x #KCACOLS
Oh I hope this story inspires her. There Is always hope! 🙂 x
Nicola | Mummy to Dex says
So pleased to read everything worked out in samantha’s story; IVF can be such a heartbreaking thing with many couples finding it doesn’t work. Infertility is a horrible thing for any woman to go through.
Kate Eccles says
What a lovely post and such a joyful outcome for the writer 🙂 #KCACOLS
Acorn Books says
Beautifully written. So glad to hear a happy outcome for this family too. #KCACOLS
I know a few people who’ve had unsuccessful IVF attempts so it’s nice to read a positive outcome!
Carolynne @ Mummy Endeavours says
Aww what a lovely story with an wonderful happy ending! I cannot imagine the pain of not being able to conceive, it must be the worst, so having these procedures in place to help families is like a miracle x
Carolynne @ Mummy Endeavours says
Yes it is! It gives people some hope! 🙂
Tracey Bowden says
What a lovely story with a happy ending!
Wow, what a beautiful story! It’s so easy to take for granted the simplicity of getting pregnant and not think at all about any complications that may occur. I love that there are so many ways to make people’s dreams come true of becoming a parent #KCACOLS
Sarah | Digital Motherhood says
A really interesting post and a great read for anyone going through the same situation #KCACOLS
Lisa Pomerantz says
What a beautiful post with a beautiful ending. As a two-mom family, we realize sometimes there is a need for assistance in building the family. The proverbial village! xoxo #kcacols xoxo