This is a guest post written by Samantha R, a 42-year-old woman that went through the process of Donor Egg IVF. I thought it would be interesting to share her story and perhaps could help people who might be looking into choosing this path too.
When you want nothing more than to start a family with your partner, one negative pregnancy test can feel like a letdown. What happens when one negative test turns into dozens? The constant disappointment can leave you feeling haunted and empty. This was the reality for my husband and me after a year of trying desperately to conceive. Those twelve months of failure left us searching for answers.
Sitting in the doctorโs office one day, I saw a brochure with the words โInfertility Treatment Helps Families Growโ written across the front cover. Little did we know, those five little words would become our answer.
My Nonviable Eggs: The Diagnosis that Led Us to Donor Egg IVF
When we first started seeing our fertility specialist, I had hope, the cause of our infertility was simple. I was ready to be told I needed to exercise more, add more good fats to my diet, or try an acupuncture session. I was not prepared to hear my eggs werenโt viable for pregnancy.
Not viable โ itโs amazing the way such a short phrase can carry so much weight. I felt like a failure. My sweet husband whispered doting words of encouragement into my ears, but all I heard was you canโt get pregnant โ you canโt have a baby of your own.
Sitting in that doctorโs office smelling of antiseptic and broken dreams, I was so lost in my own thoughts, I barely heard the doctor utter the words โdonor egg IVF.โ Looking up, I considered what he was telling me.
There was a chance I could still carry a baby of my own. While my child wouldnโt be conceived from my own egg, I would still be the one to bring my child into the world. I would still feel my babyโs kicks and watch my belly grow. Despite the loss I was feeling, I knew this was the path I would choose.
How Do You Choose an Egg Donor?
Never in my wildest dreams did I foresee needing to choose the DNA donor of my baby. While the online bank provided incredible insight and information about each donor, choosing a donor is not as easy as ordering off the drive-thru menu.
Thankfully, egg banks rigorously screen each of their donors prior to donation. We were guaranteed every donor had passed drug tests, psychological screenings, and general health evaluations โ but none of these things helped us pick one amongst the others.
My husband and I deliberated for weeks over our criteria. Was a similarity in appearance more important, or did their educational and professional background mean more?
We weighed our options and eventually decided on the perfect donor โ a combination of similar looks, background, and good education. We were ready to begin.
Starting Our Family with Frozen Donor Egg IVF
Finding an egg donor was just the beginning of our process. Next, it was time to begin treatment. It was explained to me the most important part of a successful IVF cycle was ensuring my body was in the best condition possible to accept a developing embryo.
Preparing my body for IVF wasnโt just about eating the right foods and taking the right vitamins. I was required to undergo various tests, including ultrasounds and blood work, which would offer my doctor insight into my current reproductive health.
Also, I needed the help of hormonal supplements such as progesterone and estrogen to guarantee my uterus was in the best possible state for my upcoming embryo transfer. With the help of transvaginal ultrasounds and bloodwork, my doctors and nurses evaluated my bodyโs response to these medications and determined exactly when my uterus was best prepared for the embryo transfer.
Early one morning, we made the drive to our clinicโs surgery centre. I laid back and watched as our beautiful embryo was transferred into my uterus. Two weeks later, my husband and I received the news weโd been waiting for. Our donor egg IVF cycle was a success โ we were having a baby!
Becoming the Mother Iโd Always Hoped to Be
While I was pregnant with my baby girl, I sometimes wondered if she would feel like a stranger when she arrived. I wondered whether Iโd suffer from the loss of a genetic connection and not bond with our little girl.
Oh, how wrong I was. The moment my daughter was laid on my chest, I didnโt see DNA and chromosomes. I saw rosy cheeks and long, beautiful eyelashes. I saw ten sweet fingers and ten beautiful toes. In the instant my eyes landed on her face, I knew she was mine. No amount of biology could tell me otherwise.
Have you heard of Donor Egg IVF? Is it a path that you would choose if needed? What do you think of Samantha’s story?
*Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.ย
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Aw I beautifully written post with a happy ending. So happy for the writer and, yet again, amazed at what our bodies and fab doctors can do! #KCACOLS
I know! It is amazing! ๐ x
It’s a rough road (emotionally) but so rewarding when the baby arrives. #KALCOLS
Agree! It is all worth it! ๐
I’ve heard of Donor Egg IVF but never met anyone personally who had it done.
Such a beautiful share! I am so happy for the writer.
#KCACOLS
Yes such a happy ending! ๐
One of my best friends needed IVF to have her baby girl, however her eggs were suitable, so while she was having hers extracted she donated further to others, like yourself, so other families could be created. A lovely story x
#kcacols
That is so nice! What a lovely friend you have! ๐ x
What a lovely story. My husband and I battled infertility for 9 years to finally have our son, so I know how hard it can be. It’s great to raise awareness of procedures people might not otherwise be aware of. Medical science never ceases to amaze me. #KCACOLS
Wow 9 years! Amazing! Your son is a lovely miracle then! Love to hear these stories! I was only 1.5 years and it felt so long! Yes the medical science is out of this world! ๐ x
What a lovely story. My cousin went down this route and joyfully has twins. What an amazing chance for her when all was lost. When I look at those lovely children all I see is love and joy. Thank you for sharing this story. #KCACOLS
Aww how lovely Sophie! I can imagine how much love those beautiful twins are bringing to the family! ๐
I really love hearing successful stories like this – some couples try so hard. Sarah #KCACOLS
Such a valuable post for anyone going through or thinking about going through this process! I can’t imagine how hard it must be. well done for sharing x #KCACOLS
aw lovely post and interesting to read about the process as i don’t know much about it really. i cant imagine how hard it must be going through this either. the what ifs. thanks for sharing #KCACOLS
Samanthaโs Story is beautiful. Iโm so glad hey got their happy ending. Iโve always said if we canโt have children (we have one now) but if we canโt have another Iโd chose adoption as the next route.
#KCACOLS
Ah, what a beautiful post. I could feel myself welling up with tears. Pen x #KCACOLS
What a wonderful story. Thankfully I didn’t have trouble conceiving – I always thought I would adopt though if I struggled #kcacols
great information here. My ex and I struggled with infertility and my brother and his wife had twins via IVF. Its something much more common than most people think #KCACOLS
Yes I agree.
Wonderful ending to your story. Beautiful. As someone who has had children the non-traditional way, I know how hard it can be to choose the DNA that will create your child. #kcacols
This is such a wonderful story with a happy ending. I have a close friend who cannot conceive and is desperate to start a family with her love so will forward this article onto her. Thank you for sharing x #KCACOLS
Oh I hope this story inspires her. There Is always hope! ๐ x
So pleased to read everything worked out in samanthaโs story; IVF can be such a heartbreaking thing with many couples finding it doesnโt work. Infertility is a horrible thing for any woman to go through.
#KCACOLS
What a lovely post and such a joyful outcome for the writer ๐ #KCACOLS
Beautifully written. So glad to hear a happy outcome for this family too. #KCACOLS
I know a few people who’ve had unsuccessful IVF attempts so it’s nice to read a positive outcome!
Aww what a lovely story with an wonderful happy ending! I cannot imagine the pain of not being able to conceive, it must be the worst, so having these procedures in place to help families is like a miracle x
#kcacols x
Yes it is! It gives people some hope! ๐
What a lovely story with a happy ending!
Wow, what a beautiful story! Itโs so easy to take for granted the simplicity of getting pregnant and not think at all about any complications that may occur. I love that there are so many ways to make peopleโs dreams come true of becoming a parent #KCACOLS
A really interesting post and a great read for anyone going through the same situation #KCACOLS
What a beautiful post with a beautiful ending. As a two-mom family, we realize sometimes there is a need for assistance in building the family. The proverbial village! xoxo #kcacols xoxo